You would think at a time of social distancing dating would be difficult, but with modern technology and so many apps to choose from , all is not lost and in fact omnipresent. Ria Pelling talks us through the new trend in our time of isolation.
After speaking to a friend who had arranged a phone call date with someone she had been messaging on Tinder, I was both excited and intrigued to see how it went. She told me she spent the whole time laughing, so I wanted to know if she found any benefits to virtual dating. She explained, you can go on a date in your pyjamas, without the pressures that come along with traditional dating, which can be expensive and just focus on what matters, the connection between you and the person you are speaking to.
Inspired, I reached out to find more people dating at a distance to see how they were finding it. Adia came forward and told me how she had met someone online and a couple of dates had followed. As the lockdown came into effect, they arranged to E date, once a week. However, after two dates the conversation began to dwindle, which she put down to the struggle of not being able to see him face to face. “The connection was there and we both said we’d like to see each other again, for sure”. Adia told me she had found herself overthinking the situation far more than she would usually. However, they are planning another date this week.
Aimee shared her story of how, in a time of isolation, she has met someone she feels she will be in a relationship with if all goes well when they finally get to meet. A follow on Instagram, led to a reply on her story, which led to some messages and finally a Facetime date. “ So I did my hair, makeup, put a cute top on, and sat in sweat pants with a glass of wine. Fast forward a few days, and the Facetime dates have turned into Facetime days….we’ve spoken to each other all day every day since a lot of the time we’re on facetime we’re just chilling or doing our own thing.” Aimee told me that she feels that this experience has changed dating for her completely because she had no other option than to just talk and find out everything about that person.
But how is this distance affecting those already in established relationships? Jordan has been with her boyfriend for almost a year, when we went into lockdown they both had to return to their home countries. Each day they speak via video calls and plan dates but are finding it difficult. Recently, it was Jordan’s boyfriend’s birthday and although the original plans they had made together had to be cancelled, Jordan found a way to make his day special from across the seas. “I made him a Happy Birthday sign that I hung in my room and my family and I sang happy birthday to him over the phone with a fudge chocolate cake and a candle to blow out.” It is amazing to see people break through the obstacle of distance by getting creative, but that’s not to say being apart is not hard. “There are times I feel like he’s going to give up on us or that I will because there isnt yet an app or the technology to recreate the feeling of falling asleep and waking up next to someone you love.And it would never be the same anyway .” It is a difficult time for many, being separated from loved ones, but to know we are doing this to keep them and our communities safe is a great thing to try and focus on.
This may seem like a new trend, but, for many people, it is how they were dating before. Derek met Sharon on a dating site a few years back, where they spent 2-3 months speaking over text and on the phone. Derek has some great advice when it comes to dating, whilst distancing. He told me that communicating over the phone, gave him more time to think about what he was saying and allowed him to get to know Sharon, building up his confidence whilst being able to be himself without worrying too much. The first video call was a little scary but it got easier as time went on. When they eventually met, it felt more like date 10 than date 1. When they began to meet in person they made the most out of their time by visiting national parks, going to the cinema and attending Sharon’s first Rock concert, a passion ignited by a playlist Derek has made her at the beginning of their online relationship. All these experiences made all that more special, by the wait that preceded them.
